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The greater the need the more gullible we are to deception.

When we talk human needs, think of the longings or desires of our hearts. The things that we do or use in order to satisfy our heart desires. At some level we do what we do because we believe it will lead to us feeling good about ourselves. In my line of work, we talk about the pain or pleasure principle – this was developed by Sigmund Freud.

This principle suggest that we make choices to avoid or decrease pain or make choices that create or increase pleasure. We may come from different backgrounds , subscribe to different beliefs and personal values – at an emotional level there is one thing common to humanity , that is the desire of our hearts known as human needs. Notice that our hearts desires have no regard for intellectual prowess, your beliefs nor your moral standard . Emotional needs override our minds because these are heart and soul issues . There comes a point in our lives where the need is so deep that you want what you want with no regard for consequences. True to the popular saying “ A heart wants what a heart wants.” Who can understand it.?

What I know for sure is that It is hard to separate heart and soul issues from our spirituality.

In Jeremiah 17: 9-10 it is written :

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”

This is where we become vulnerable to temptation, deception and exploitation.

When we talk about vulnerability , in many instances we refer to people who are in poverty in all its forms. What I have noticed though, is that unmet emotional needs make us all vulnerable to deception and exploitation regardless of social standing , moral standards and beliefs .

“ Was that me, I can’t believe that I did that?” Have you ever found yourself recovering from a mistake that you committed against your better judgement?

I am sure you can recall warnings from some of your close friends and family, right?

As a point of reflection, think about the deepest desire of your heart that you felt was missing in your life at the time ?

Exploiters know this, to achieve their purpose all they have to do is locate your deepest need or your area of weakness so that they can manipulate you.

The need for love & connection is the favorite tool used for exploitation. Add a little bit of gospel or some foam of religion then you have won the hearts of many unsuspecting victims.

Inherently we are social beings. I have been pondering why is it easy to manipulate people using faith , arrived at this conclusion that; we are social beings; we crave connection and acceptance. Connection gives us identity and a sense of belonging, love and safety.

We get to define our identity by association to family, in marital or romantic relationships, society , religion and professionally. Lack of identity manifests as rejection and we become vulnerable to exploitation as we strive for acceptance and validation. We shouldn’t be surprised by recurring incidents of sexual exploitation and money laundering happening under the cover of religion. These incidents are a reflection of an innocent need for belonging . No human being should be violated and exploited in that way by another. Lord have mercy!

Social injustices have added to a pool of vulnerable people as easy targets that can be manipulated en-mass by predators. These predators know exactly which carrot to dangle using spirituality , and creating false sense of security, and belonging.

We need to learn that the key to enjoying a great life is to be found from within , not somewhere out there in the external world. Let us do our best to learn from our mistakes, forgive ourselves and those who violate our trust . There is a rule in nature that says if something is not growing , it is dying. Growth and contribution should become the greatest desire of our hearts and this will lead to us living a life filled with purpose.

People remain the one tool that is accessible to all of us to overcome any weaknesses in our lives .Therefore , let us be courageous to seek good counsel from one another, enlist in personal development and mental fitness interventions for holistic restoration of our well-being. I have a coaching process that helps identify what need is missing , this helps clients to explore healthy options that can be used to meet this need. So many times, we have discovered that some of the things we think are missing, are being met in other areas of our lives. It’s a beautiful process of self-discovery.

Let me conclude by saying, my faith teaches me that , it is only God the Creator who can fill an empty soul. We will always have desires and longings of the heart. His love alone is able to give us the identity we deserve including the sense of worth and belonging. All we have to do is open our hearts to receive his love. Love is all we need.